Weight loss is all about the numbers right? What should your goal weight be? How many calories should you eat? How much exercise should you do? How any carbs, how much fat, how much protein? How long should it take? How many pounds should I lose in a week? Am I eating too much or too little? Am I exercising to much or too little? Is my heart rate too high or not high enough? What’s my BMI? How heavy should I be lifting?

Don’t you just wish there was an answer to all these questions? I think I might take some time to explore some thoughts on these in the coming days. Not necessarily what I think those number should be, but more on the thinking to figure it out.

I’ve been thinking a lot about goal weight lately, particularly since I seem to be maintaining right around 140 and I don’t want that to be goal for me, but it might be where my body wants it to be. I would like to see 135 on the scale. That is at the upper end for my height (5’2″). I took a quiz on Self.com
about what would be a ‘happy weight’ for me. And it says my happy weight is 128.1 !!!!!!! And that is selecting a large frame (which I actually have). I actually almost cried when I saw that number, because that means I would have to lose another 11-12 pounds. I can’t imagine myself at that weight. Even at 130, let alone below that. To get there, it would mean 1200 calories and an extreme amount of exercise. Not sure that would be an enjoyable process for me – and about 2 steps from disordered eating.

Couple that with many people on weight loss boards that are taller than me and weigh 135. Ugh. I also listened to a Jillian Michaels podcast (and NO I do not watch TBL – I’ll have to do a post on that sometime), and she is also 5’2″. She weighs 120! I think things are just different for me having been 100 pounds heavier. There is the skin issue to contend with. If I could remove the excess skin, I would be at goal and beyond. I know I have a lot of muscle, too. Or maybe I am just fooling myself and I actually can get there if I work hard enough.
It’s just confusing and frustrating at times. I just have to realize that this journey is for me and myself alone, not to be influenced by others and what they do or think.

Don’t get me wrong, I am totally thrilled to be maintaining a 100+ pound weight loss, and that is probably even harder than the actual losing. And I know I can maintain with diligence and discipline.