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	<title>Finding Radiance &#187; perfectionism</title>
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	<link>http://findingradiance.com</link>
	<description>Losing 100+ pounds, loving food, fitness, and life!</description>
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		<title>It&#039;s not all or nothing for me anymore.</title>
		<link>http://findingradiance.com/2008/08/20/its-not-all-or-nothing-for-me-anymore/</link>
		<comments>http://findingradiance.com/2008/08/20/its-not-all-or-nothing-for-me-anymore/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:29:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Lori</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[all or nothing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[patience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perfectionism]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[<p>I tend to review in my mind the changes that I have undergone in the past few years. I think the biggest one is that I got rid of the &#8216;all or nothing&#8217; mindset. Not just in dieting, but in a lot of areas of my life.</p> <p>I tend to be a perfectionist &#8211; so [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I tend to review in my mind the changes that I have undergone in the past few years.  I think the biggest one is that I got rid of the &#8216;all or nothing&#8217; mindset.  Not just in dieting, but in a lot of areas of my life.</p>
<p>I tend to be a perfectionist &#8211; so to not exceed with the utmost of goals on the first try would be very discouraging to me.  I think that&#8217;s why I couldn&#8217;t lose weight and keep it off.  I would expect 2 pounds a week consistently, and if I didn&#8217;t get that, then I would just eat whatever and give up.</p>
<p>Or with a new exercise program &#8211; pop in the DVD and expect to be at the speed and fitness of the instructors  (perfectionism doesn&#8217;t = smart, sometimes). And then be irritated with myself that I didn&#8217;t wake up fit the next day.</p>
<p>Patience really is a virtue, and it can be learned. I am proof of that, at least.  I know that when I tried the C25K program a couple years ago, I gave up because I thought it was too hard, and I didn&#8217;t understand why I couldn&#8217;t just up and run, since I biked and worked out.  Well, I needed to learn to be patient with my body while it learned a new skill.  That&#8217;s what running is, training your body.  </p>
<p>So, following the C25K with the mindset that I didn&#8217;t have to be able to run a 5K in 30 minutes by the end of 9 weeks was a big breakthrough for me.  I knew I could do the 5K, but it just took me 50 minutes to do the first time.  And I decided to celebrate that instead of beat myself up. I have now reduced my time for the 5K by quite a bit from 50 minutes, and now I feel victorious with each run (even though I still am not at 30 minutes).</p>
<p>I feel that way about the weight loss now as well.  I know that I am unlikely to lose even a pound a week, and have now accepted that as perfectly fine.  I also know that there will be times when the scale goes up, undeservedly &#8211; and I have to accept that as well.  Since I&#8217;m not in a rush, and I have learned to be less self critical, the weight has come off and stayed off.  I no longer have something off plan and then decide it&#8217;s okay to take the rest of the day off, or beat myself up.  That has been the path I am following to radiance.</p>
<p>Maybe I could have learned this stuff 20 years ago, or maybe it had to take me until I got to 40 to figure it out. I don&#8217;t know. I am just glad to be at this point right now.</p>
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